Introduction to PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)

An introductory video about PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance)

This video is just over 20 minutes long and covers lots of information, including:
What is demand avoidance?
PDA \u0026 Autism
Key features of a PDA profile
Research \u0026 clinical themes
Why identify PDA?
How PDA can feel
What are demands?
Demand avoidance in PDA
Helpful approaches
Further information

We hope this is a helpful introduction and helps to put PDA on everyone's radar.

Further information and our contact details are available on our website: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/

PDA Autism Explained: A Closer Look at 'Pathological Demand Avoidance'

guys, this took exponentialllyyyy less time to make and post and required way less demand and was more spontaneous and creative in the moment. i'' do longer vids too of course, cause a girls gotta talk, but i can also do more videos shorter what do u think???? i liked this anyway. i know the quality isn't as yummy. im gonna stop judging myself now! its about the information and its important for me to share! sound off below if you have pda, what are some demands to you that other people may not think of?



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@grub1127 : PDA demmands- the worst is when im finally about to do a task I couldn't do...but someone "suggests" I do that task. So brain suddenly cannot. Also the demmand of deadlines...
@piricarroll : I swear the autistic community knows more about how we are than any other source. I cannot handle pressure (or demand) well at. All. So I've learned not to put it on myself unless i want to feel bad about myself for not succumbing to it. I refuse. Life feels more gentle, easy, and flowy (and not traumatising) for me if i do it at my own pace, and in my own way. I wish we as a community could regulate our own community, instead of relying on doctors (apart from when we need medication of course) to tell us "how we are". Because we're truthful, we can detect if someone's dishonest (especially if someone were to fake being nd), we self identify our traits. And we'd name our afflictions with actual helpful words. I dislike the names the psychiatric community comes up with as they're damaging and misleading. I feel we'd come up with better descriptive yet unbiased titles. Pda? No. How about Self Paced Alignment or, SPA. Not actually this, but you get the idea. This way, you could understand from the title alone that this person requires living at their own pace to help them live a well life.
@ChuckMeIntoHell : I'm definitely someone with PDA. Ever since I was a kid things like brushing my teeth, taking showers, doing homework, etc. were all incredibly difficult for me to do, especially if I felt like I had to do them. Then I would feel bad for not doing them, which would make it even harder to motivate myself, which would spiral me into a depression.
@MrLeFluffy1 : Not only realizing I'm autistic but also learning from the point of view of the autistic person what PDA entails and that it applies to me has been life changing. In case it helps others, this is how it's shown itself in me:

In high school, when all my mental health and physical health problems hit me like a truck and went undiagnosed, I stopped doing homework. Entirely. Even if I wanted to. I remember in senior year, I had this entire essay about Ophelia in Hamlet planned out that I was excited to write because I felt I had a unique perspective! I NEVER WROTE IT. I would sit at the kitchen table, take out all my supplies from my backpack, and stare at my untouched homework for hours straight and refusing to touch it. I just... couldn't fucking do it. I couldn't.

Because homework is a required demand with a deadline.

To this day this persists with medical documents and making appointments. My dad has to do those things for me, because I just can not fucking do it.

Also, one of the things I got into trouble with a lot as a kid was when me and my parents would go out shopping somewhere and, "You got what you wanted and now you want to be done and leave. You were nice until we got your things, and now you're being a brat!"

Well, I never had the words or even the ability to recognize that it was because shopping, as much as I might enjoy it, exhausts me. So I would hurry us to get the me part of shopping done, and because I didn't need to focus on what we were doing or we were going, I suddenly felt the exhaustion, the sensory overload, the boredom, etc (I was also undiagnosed ADHD until I was 17, so that didn't help!).

Even now, I struggle with a messy room. And I don't mean "messy", I mean it looks like a scene from Hoarders. Not because it's full of hoarded things and trash, but like... the "everything is strewn on the floor, nothing is in drawers and every article of clothing I own is piled on the bed and on the floor alongside all of my actual stuff" kinda mess. It's terrible. And if I wake up capable of working on cleaning some of it, all of that motivation will instantly vanish the moment my dad says "Hey, maybe try working on your room today! :D"

Like, he means well, but the instant he mentions it, all motivation leaves and I just wanna throw everything I just cleaned back onto the floor and scream "fuck you!"

And I think it's because, the instant my dad says anything about cleaning my room, I'm no longer doing it for myself, I'm doing it for him. I'm not cleaning because I wanted to and was able, I'm cleaning because he told me to. And while obviously that's not true, that's what it feels like, and thus all want to do it is gone instantly.

Also, y'know how some people say they need deadlines to get things done? That if they don't have a deadline, they won't do it? I'm the exact opposite. The instant something has a deadline, I can't fucking do it. Because it's now a demand, and I just can't handle that.

Anyway, there's more, but I'm super tired and running late, so I'll leave this here
@jjsmilemore26 : My youngest son is PDA. In doing research to help him. I discovered he got it from me.

14 Signs You Actually Have Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

TW: From 26:37 to 26:55 there is a brief mention of eating disorders.

I have a new Patreon! Join before the 12th of November and I'll send you a membership badge:
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*I used quite a few quotes from this book about PDA:
https://amzn.to/43GSk9J

WATCH NEXT :

If you missed the last TikTok reaction (we talk about faking autism, parents filming their children's meltdowns, and the struggle of choosing from menus as a PDAer and not wanting to make the WRONG choice) :


My Burnout Story might also give you some more context:


My Videos Mentioned :

10 Signs you have Pathological Demand Avoidance:


Take the PDA Test with me:


00:00 What demands sound like?
01:39 PDA Vs Executive Dysfunction
03:40 What does anxiety actually feel like?
06:30 Everything is a phobia
08:00 PDA is feeling relief?
11:30 PDA Rage
16:09 Jobs are Claustrophobia
20:00 We can't be wrong!!
22:35 Low self-esteem
24:30 Criticism Dysphoria
25:15 OCD
27:28 Everyone must be equal!
30:15 Electricity in my brain
31:06 NO routine
34:40 PDA is Euphoria?

Sources:

The PDA Society:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/

ODD NHS:
https://www.cntw.nhs.uk/services/oppositional-defiant-disorder-odd-conduct-disorder-and-challenging-behaviour/

Elizabeth Newson Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Newson

How PDA avoidance feels from the inside. Sally Cat PDA:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6MTCs_-KFc\u0026t=162s

Executive functioning: a personal perspective:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/executive-functioning

Emotion Regulation and Executive Function in Children and Adolescents with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Pathological Demand Avoidance Traits:
https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/10057420/

Autistic traits, emotion regulation, and sensory sensitivities in children and adults with Misophonia:
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05623-x

Dysthymia:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/persistent-depressive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20350929

Anxiety of the PDA Kind:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda-menu/adult-life-landing/adult-life-by-pdaers-landing/anxiety-of-the-pda-kind/

Riko PDA Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/RikosPDApage1/?locale=en_GB

Coping strategies for PDAers:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rcr_CT11cng\u0026t=35s

How PDA can Feel:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda-menu/how-pda-can-feel/

What is PDA Booklet:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/What-is-PDA-booklet-website-v2.1.pdf

PDA by PDAers Book:
https://amzn.to/43GSk9J

Relationships – dependence vs independence: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda-menu/adult-life-landing/adult-life-by-pdaers-landing/relationships-dependence-vs-independence/

Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA):
https://www.aspriscs.co.uk/news-blogs/understanding-pathological-demand-avoidance-pda/

Riko PDA Case Study: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Riko-PDA-Case-Study.pdf

Distressed behaviours:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda-menu/family-life-intro/distressed-behaviours/

80,000 hours Update: Don’t follow your passion: https://80000hours.org/2014/09/update-dont-follow-your-passion/

Managing work:
https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/life-with-pda-menu/adult-life-landing/adult-life-by-pdaers-landing/managing-work/

PDA Test: https://dragonriko.wordpress.com/pda-test-for-adults/

Thank you so much for taking to the time to watch! Feel free to make requests for future videos in the comments.

DISCLAIMER: I am a second-year psychology student and a late-diagnosed #actuallyautistic individual. I am not a qualified healthcare professional.

*Books I'd Recommend about Autism:

Different not Less by Chloe Hayden (read if you want to cry):
https://amzn.to/40fKx2m

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone:
https://amzn.to/3xSZ6Mg

*Unmasking Autism by Devon Price:
https://amzn.to/3LhMV3j

*Links with a star are affiliate links. The channel will receive a small commission if you buy anything on Amazon after clicking through with this link. There's no extra cost to you and any money will go towards putting out more content. I'd love to post twice a week and put more time into research for these videos. Thank you so much - I really appreciate everyone sharing their stories in the comments.
@imautisticnowwhat : I always find posting about PDA really difficult for some reason, but I’m here, facing the phobia again

Thank you for being here as always!

I've just posted a new video about tips for coping with PDA:


My Burnout Story might provide some more context to some of the clips included here (and explain why I ended up dropping out of college etc):


And if you need more PDA, here’s the playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEHi2YmjD7gG0_GkY6Sec9YcmDml4AsNH
@ness.ness. : "when I'm making decisions I feel like there's a right answer" oh my god i have chills. i have literally said to friends before that the reason im so indecisive is cos decisions feel SO high stakes. I've spent the last year wondering if i could be autistic but i feel like the PDA autism profile is so eerily similar to me that im not sure what else it could be...
@Rhiannon_Autumn : Is it weird that I feel like my own body demanding that I get some sleep is also a trigger and something I want to rebel against, and have done for practically all my life?
@leoniechester : The part about not liking to sit in front of a big computer screen where people could potentially be watching what you're doing and preferring to just sit in lessons and then do the work when you're alone/at home sounds so much like me! I've always found it easier to do school/uni work when I don't feel 'observed'; it's why I tend to sit at the back in lectures/in more private areas in the library so there aren't people behind or around me
@OdinsSage : My friend rebranded PDA as "Persistent Urge to Never Kneel". Aka, PUNK. And I've here for that rebrand.

Just wanted to share

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